Genie out of the bottle: Revenge of the stooges

Posted: June 13, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

el kab

As i was returning home to my mom’s place in makram ebeid .. i got stopped at a checkpoint in front of rab3a.. the mokhber stopped the cab asked for my id and then told the cab to park on the side and then asked me to step out & started strip searching me in the middle of the street then i stopped him when I felt that the search had turned more to a form of degradation than an actual search to find anything illegal or weapons [I allowed him to feel up my socks, refused to take off my shoes, and when he touched the top button on my jeans I almost flipped and that caused him to direct his attention elsewhere].. he turned to my laptop soon as he was busy with that I turned around and walked up to the uniformed officer with 2 stars [daboortein] stood in the aisle in the middle of Autostrade.

‘Hadrettak, yenfa3 el byehsal da?’ [Sir, do you think what is happening to me proper?] – which actually seems to be the one count of blasphemy on my part

The officer gave my ID a once-over and noted that i lived a couple of streets down from the checkpoint & that my ID said I was a medical student..

‘You a doctor Islam?’

‘No.. for years now i’ve had one last final to sit to graduate but i chose not to as i got into media since 4th year’ as i pulled out my business card which stated that i was managing a website in a prestigious business tower..

To which the young officer clad in white with a black beret branding the famous nesr [eagle] threw his left arm over my shoulder and asked

‘Olli bsaraha ya Islam.. enta shareb haga?’ [Islam, tell me honestly have you had anything to drink?]

To this I replied frankly and casually that I had a couple of beers earlier in the night.. Nothing wrong with that I thought..

The officer then yelled to a very young officer clad in civilian clothes..

‘Mustafa Beh, come take Islam away as the stench of beer coming from him is choking me and making me unable to breathe’

To which the young Mabaheth [CID] officer just motioned towards me and clutched at my elbow and directed me to one of those new police jeeps that look like the MP ones but are police blue instead of the more-military sandy colored ones..

‘Get in’

‘Ya basha hadrettak shaklak ebn nas w zouq, fa 2akeed mayerdiksh elli byehsal dah?!’ [Sir, you look like you come from a good family and have been raised well, I’m sure you cannot condone what is happening to me here?!]

‘Get in the back of the buks’

‘Can I just get my laptop then?’

Went collected my laptop & paid the cabdriver and went and sat in the back of the buks as ordered.. I sat there for over 2 hours and for the duration I watched the mukbireen [detectives] stopping any private car or cab with ‘young’ middleclass men [mid 20s to mid 30s] and strip searching them as well and searching their cars.. I reckon my mistake, as I was the only young man detained, was the fact that I spoke out to ask if this was acceptable.. reminds me of a not-so-distant past..

Call it the conspiracy theorist in me, or my wild imagination yet the more I sat at the back of that buks.. the more apparent it became that this ‘checkpoint’ was targeting any young male that may ‘look’ like he was the type of guy that would’ve been protesting in Tahrir. It was so reminiscent of the days of the revolution when Military Police would pick off isolated protesters for carrying a camera, using it, or simply because they looked like the educated middle-class that the powers that be felt were the driving force behind what was happening in Tahrir.

‘Yalla Lem’ [Come on pack it up] said the officer

Apparently they weren’t just happy having me sit in the back of a buks for hours.. we were actually going to a police precinct now.

Panicking I made a few desperate phonecalls and someone I called must have woken up my mom and let her know I was being taken to 2nd precinct.. She called, asked & I confirmed.

On the way to the precinct, the mokhber or ameen el shorta [police personnel] driving was playing a fun game on Nasr City’s 4am deserted streets.. He would accelerate real fast.. then slam on the brakes all of a sudden hurling me all the way across the back to slam into the back of their cabin. On about the 7th time, right in front of Nsr City’s 2nd precinct, he slammed on the brakes [and me] one final time, and I lost my grip on my phone and it slammed too and bounced out of the buks a few meters behind ..the screen was totally shattered..[not the most major of my concerns but pissy just the same]..

Once inside I was led up to the second floor containing the Mabaheth [Criminal Investigations Dept. CID] where I was taken to an empty room & told to sit and wait for the young mabaheth officer, that I had pleaded with, to come and write his report against me for me being intoxicated [mahdar sokr].

According to my limited legal knowledge you can only be charged with mahdar sokr if: A it’s a DUI,[Drunk n drivin], B. if you’re stopped with an open bottle of alcohol. As far as my knowledge goes, even if you are in possession of alcohol, but the bottle/can is still sealed, then you cannot be prosecuted.

‘Well that’s easy’ I thought.. I had no alcohol on me to begin with.. so what the hell was that young officer going to write in his report?!!

Then my youngest aunt walks in.. followed by my mom in tears.. the sight of her made me wish I were dead, the way she was in pieces at 4 something in the morning..

Whatever the stooges at the precinct said from then on I just shut up [hateit gazma f bo2i] and just nodded agreement, to expedite the end of this whole fiasco and remove my mom from such a situation..

My aunt & my mom were allowed to stay in the room I was in to wait for the officer.

Some time later the young mabaheth officer [Mustafa Mansour] arrived and we all walked out to the corridor to try and get him to reconsider [reconsider what?!!! I had done nothing illegal!!!].. to which in his superior benevolence he directed his words at me..

‘Bos ba2a, 3aref law kan 7ad gheir ommak geh 3ashan yetkalem 3ashanak, kont bardu ha7bessak w awadeek el niyyaba’ [Look here, had it been any other person other than your mom that had come to speak on your behalf I would’ve still sent you to jail and to the criminal prosecutor’s office]
‘7atta law kan waldak benafsu elli gah…’ [even if your father himself had come…]

‘Allah yerhamu’ [God rest his soul.. I volunteered to indirectly tell him that my father had passed.. that he’s between God’s hands.. and as a sort of plea not to go there..]

‘Allah yerhamu’ he echoed, ‘even if Allah yerhamu had come to me in person I would have told him that you didn’t know how to raise your son, so I’m going to set him straight for you]

7atta lw Allah yerhamu kan geh kont ha2ollo enu ma3refshi yerabbi ebnu, wana ba2a 7a3raf arabih!

This is coming from a young officer, younger than me, talking about my deceased father, and insulting him in front of my mom who is already in tears..

I was furious

Yet I also knew that if I opened my mouth in retaliation this immature prick would probably insult my mom herself and not just my deceased dad..

‘El marra di nafadt’ [this time you escaped]… ‘bas 7net2abbel tani w 7atshoof enni hageebak’ [but we will meet again, and you’ll see that I’m going to nail you] .. ’wel marra el gayya mesh har7ammak’ [and the next time we do meet, I will show no mercy]

‘Give him his ID card’

Ameen Shorta: ‘it’s with you ya basha’

The young officer fidgeted in his back pocket searching for the right consistency and came out with my betaqa.. He held it out.. I took it..

‘Da mesh akher kalam benna w ana ba2ollak tani sa3etha 7ayeb2a fee kalam tani’ [this is not the end of it, mark my words, and next time things will be different]

He turned on his heel and strode off like he was the king of the castle.. behind him I shouted..

‘Lamma net2abbel tani, mesh 7ayeb2a belshakl elli enta mutakhayyilu’ [when we do meet again, it won’t be on your terms] I just couldn’t shut up…

He ignored me and walked into his office.

I walked down the stairs, and on my way each step took me closer to being
spat out of this monster of a diabolical system.

No one said anything on the way home… Yet I wanted to scream out & wake up all those sleeping in their apportioned boxes ‘We’ve killed the revolution.. each & every one of us with our indifference.. the revolution is dead’





It’s a feeling I know
this helplessness
this drowning
this burning in my chest
in my throat
hold back the tears
keep your straight face
and keep your head high..


…not a moment of satisfaction will they get

  1. shih says:

    el kalb

  2. Sara El-Gammal Sharp says:

    They can thwack your body, dump you in a “box”, nail you for trumped up offences, but they can’t ever take your spirit — unless you let them. Don’t just hand over satisfaction to them. Keep writing 🙂

  3. Abdallah says:

    I strongly recommend for you to send for Interior ministry in order to stop this hell

    Please send for them and don’t be negative

  4. devangelo says:

    Thx Abdallah.. i would really luv to be able to have faith in the system in place now.. bas.. ummm edeeeni 2amara?! One day soon my friend when enuff have woken up

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s